I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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