I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i think my cat just said my name.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize