There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
