Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
