ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
