Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
