cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
