I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
