Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize