you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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