He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
