i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
