She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
