so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You ruined the universe
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
