No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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