Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
