Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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