you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize