How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
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