Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
