OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
