turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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