You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
