Who wears a wallet chain?!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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