.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize