dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
