We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
