I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize