there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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