This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
