Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
