You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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