I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
