so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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