Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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