Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
