She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
