I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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