Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
