Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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