i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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