Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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