I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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