So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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