I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
