i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
