you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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