I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
