i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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