Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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