Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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