we're blogging at a bar
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
