Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
