I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize