Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
