you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize