coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
