I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
